Beacon Sunday Service: May 11, 2025

Alright, I think I did this last time, but I'm gonna take a picture of you. So look over here. Okay. One, two, three. All right. I I do this when I remember to, uh, just to keep churches in prayer, and especially I'm very thankful to be here. Um, as I shared, I think last time I was here, getting to be part of the journey, looking for a pastor, meeting with uh Howard and Phil and Steve over burgers, and uh I'm just very very grateful and thankful, and then uh knowing that Peter now God has brought him here to be the pastor. And yeah, last Sunday I just wanted to come just so I could be here to fellowship, uh to to listen to Pastor Peter preach, and uh someone was kind enough to invite me to the ice skating thing, uh, but I said uh uh no, I I I really I have a problem walking just on regular ground.

So when I got the text from Peter that night, I was like, oh no, oh no. Because I I've had head injuries too, so it's uh and especially as a pastor. I mean everything's up here, and so uh I'm glad that he was able to get some rest to recover because uh yeah, concussions are really tricky things, you just don't know how it'll affect you. So um well, I have a little Mother's Day uh video. Uh my third daughter actually made it and showed it to us Friday night. She's in New York, and uh she just pieced together uh some videos of uh them over the years as little babies. So I thought, oh, I'm just gonna show this to you because uh yeah, my wife again, she is actually in San Diego helping take care of her mom.

And so uh I was gonna join this weekend to be there as well. Uh but that's where I was able to switch, and she was very gracious to say, yeah, just please go help uh the beacon church. So I'll after service, I'll go drive right down. Uh I'm kind of stalling, so the video is already. All right, okay. So this goes way back. This is my engagement dinner. So that's my wife Angela. Many many years ago. Over. That's our oldest Jenna. Watch it all pass. Mom's getting older. I'm wanting it back. That's us announcing we're having a second. That's Kara, our second. No one is her. And I have been good to you instead of making it worse.

Thought it be over by now. So you thought I would come to my senses. This is number three, Alyssa. Wish I was stronger somehow. Wish it was easy. Somewhere I lost all my senses. I wish I knew what the end is. And this is number four, Olivia. I wish I knew what the end is.

We have no idea what that means. You know, I think they said the closest would be if you passed a bowling ball. But we won't think about that. Uh but I think it really was uh just a reminder. Uh, and that's why I I always took video. And and Angela would always say, like, why do you take so much video? So we could remember now things that I wouldn't remember, and especially looking back, appreciating. I mean, think about your even your own mothers, you know. All the things that we never knew they did. And uh so Mother's Day is really uh an opportunity uh to encourage our mothers to remember our mothers, uh, to pray for our mothers. Uh I saw my mom last night just to uh drop off some dinner, and uh she likes um whole foods, like organic blueberry juice.

It's very specific. And so I was like, okay, I brought her some blueberry juice. Uh, and this took time to listen because my mom has no daughters, and so she has three sons that are not very inclined to want to sit there and listen to her talk. And so uh that's something I realized, you know, I could never repay my mom for everything she did. Uh so anyway, uh happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, and uh there were times I would give Mother's Day uh messages, uh, but I'm gonna do a little different today, uh, but I'm going to still focus on uh how understanding what mothers uh do to raise children, how that actually applies to ministry. So uh I would encourage you if you haven't already, uh please call your mom or visit your mom, uh text your mom, overwhelm them with just love.

You can't love them enough for just all the things that they have done. And if your mom's an unbeliever, still love her, share the gospel with her, show her the love of Christ. Uh there's so much we can still do to show our appreciation. And also know there are some who have struggled with the loss of a child. Uh Angela, uh, she went through three miscarriages between daughters number three and four, and uh within two years, and uh it was a dark time for us. Uh I never saw her struggle as much as she did during that time, and I had no idea how to help her other than to pray. And so I know there's a lot of heartaches for for ladies who've uh you know miscarriages, uh, have friends who've had stillbirths, uh, uh lost a child when they were very little.

Uh and even for ladies who've had abortions and and live with the guilt and just the trauma that that brings, they're still a mother. And so there's so much brokenness in this world just in relating to this issue of motherhood. And so it's an opportunity for us to show the love of Christ and uh to make the most of every opportunity. You don't know how long you'll have your mother, and that's I'm always reminded of that when I think of my mom, make the most. She's 85 now, she gets around very slowly, and uh when I when she calls on the phone, I'll have to confess. When she calls on the phone, I'm like, oh no, she's gonna talk for an hour, and then I'm like, okay, hi mom. And then off she goes.

Uh, but I realized that's even just an opportunity to love her, just to listen. Uh I was sharing a little bit. My mother-in-law, uh, I love my mother-in-law too. I just call her mom. Uh, she's the only lady that I know that likes going to Tommy's. The Chili Burgers. She and I have had actually dates going to Tommy's because my wife won't go, my daughters won't go. My mom, my wife will just say, just go with mom. Like, sure. And we go and we enjoy Tommy Chili Burgers. Uh I'm gonna ask you to turn to First Thessalonians chapter two, um, verses seven through eight. And uh I I talked to Howard just yesterday, and he said, Oh, you guys have been going through First Thessalonians for your Bible study.

I was like, Oh, I should have asked before I thought. So this might just be sort of review in some ways for you, but hopefully it'll be an encouragement to you still. Uh, let me read from 1 Thessalonians 2, and uh there should be a slide for this. But we proved to be gentle among you, as nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. In this way, having fond affection. We were pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but our own lives, because you had become beloved to us. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we want to thank you. First of all, we thank you for Christ. Without Christ, we would be without hope. But because Christ came and died and rose again and has redeemed us from sin, has forgiven us past, present, future, and has brought us into adoption so that we might be your sons and daughters.

God, we thank you so much that we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. And to know that we are so loved. And yet sometimes we still need to really learn and grow in what it means to be loved by you and then to take that love and to love others with the love of Christ. God, we admit that many times we are so selfish and self-absorbed, where we only think of how we could be ministered to, and we do need ministry, but you have given us the charge and the call to walk in a manner that reflects what Christ has done for us. And so may we consider how we would be ministers of the gospel, each and every one of us, and to show through how we would care for one another to reflect the love that has been shown to us in Christ.

We thank you especially for our mothers who, even though still limited and obviously imperfect, but in many ways we see this example of the kind of gentle and tender care, the this investment, even sacrifice of love that a mother gives for her own children, and we see in that the heart of Christ to drive how we in turn would then minister to each other. May we learn from that and be challenged to become more like Christ in that way. In Jesus' name, amen. When we um look back at our lives, and you know, this year I'm turning 60, so it's kind of like, oh my goodness, Lord of the time all go. Uh, and I get a chance, especially to reflect on ministry. Uh, I've been pastoring for about 38 years, and uh through the church planting, and you know, I've gotten to see a lot of a lot of things along the way.

And you know, when I think about church ministry, um, why is it that in many churches, if not all churches, the there's this struggle to actually love and care for each other. You know, I mean, I think people look at churches as a place where shouldn't the love of God be there? Right? There's an expectation. So when people come uh broken and hurt, they come, but sometimes they run into people that really don't show that kind of care. Uh starting from the leadership, you know, it seems like, and I know it's always been a problem, but there are churches that have pastors or elders who seem to be very heavy-handed, uh, who aren't shepherding with love, but shepherding like it seems like they just shepherd with a hammer, you know, and uh there's this lack of just even sense of care.

Um I think it's such a heartache to see that happening. And even this week alone, I had to counsel three pastors uh who are dealing with conflicts and heartaches in their church, and they don't know how to how to respond. Because some of these are I hear such crazy stories. Yeah, sometimes I think I had a hard time, and then I hear these people, and I'm like, whoa. Thank you, God. Uh and sometimes I share my struggles, and people go, Oh, I'm so encouraged now. Because your stuff was so hard. Okay, thank you, God for that too. Uh, I preached through First Thessalonians, uh, that was the last full book I preached through at Lighthouse LA. And it's one of the most encouraging letters. Uh you read Galatians, Paul has to drop the hammer.

Why? Because they're messing with the gospel. You read 1 Corinthians, and you're like, oh my goodness, they have problems with everything. I mean, they were getting drunk at the Lord's table. I mean, can you imagine that? I mean, I saw on your website there's going to be communion Sunday. Can you imagine someone just getting drunk? I mean, that's more than a little cup, I guess. You know, what are they doing? I mean, it's hard to imagine that you could come to church and see such things happen. So Paul has to admonish and correct, but he still did so out of love. I mean, 1 Corinthians 13 is set in the middle of all that. But in 1 Thessalonians, I think relatively speaking, it's it's a pretty positive letter.

It's a very encouraging letter. And there's especially this evidence that there's this relationship that Paul has with the Thessalonian church. And in chapter 2, verses 7 and 8, Paul uses this imagery, and it shows this intimate and close relationship of how a church should be characterized. I mean, he's coming from the vantage point of being a leader, right? So as leaders, he's reflecting this is the kind of heart you should have in ministering to the church. I think there's application for everybody, though, because when you hear words like gentleness, tenderness, care, love, these are things all Christians should be practicing, right? I mean, really, what it comes down to is are we being Christ-like toward one another?

So let's look there. I'm gonna read the text again, starting there in verse 7. But we proved to be gentle among you. This word gentle, uh, and Paul uses this imagery of a nursing mother, and I think it's so appropriate, especially for Mother's Day. It's a very vivid picture. Uh, maybe some of you mothers who can remember uh that the that first year when you had a baby. How hard was that? Guys, I mean, fathers are helpful, fathers can do stuff, but there's no way we can understand just the intensity of what it is to first of all carry a child. You know, uh, my second daughter has two little boys, and she's our very expressive daughter. Like she just says what she thinks. Sometimes she's like, Dad, so hard.

You know, even now with two boys, I could see she's always challenged to be patient and so forth. And uh I think, yeah, you know, in a selfish way, thank you, God, that I've never had to experience that. Because I can't imagine what it's like to carry a child for nine months, and all the stuff that happens with that, all the hormonal changes, the waking, I mean, you know, you get mourning sickness, you're throwing up. So that's why guys don't even joke about it. Really? You don't, you should not even joke about it because we have no idea. And then when they give birth, that alone. I mean, I don't want to even imagine it. I was there, I was there in the room. I remember the first time when my wife was grabbing my hand, and it was like a death grip.

And I couldn't say anything because I know she's in pain, but she is inflicting pain on my hand. I'm not you know, and I was recording too at the same time. So she's like, ah, uh, but then at the same time I knew, oh man, I'm just praying for her as she's going through this intense labor. It's literally labor, right? But then Paul uses this word, gentleness. But we prove to be gentle among you as a nursing mother. What is gentleness? In the Old Testament, it's the attitude of humility or bending low. Can also be referring to someone who is courteous, unpretentious, quiet, tender, unharsh. Some other shades of meaning include mildness, meekness, forbearance, regarding church leadership, believers are instructed to deal gently with those who stumble, Galatians 6.1.

Even those who oppose the faith, you are to show gentleness. And to those who are ignorant and wayward, Hebrews 5 2. In the scriptures, when you see terms like meekness or mildness or moderation, it's the same idea.

One author put it as meekness would be the flip side of gentleness, and that meek is to be mild-mannered in response to aggression. Well, gentleness is the active choice to speak and act with the kind of strength of restraint, self-control, and to refrain from showing aggression. I heard many authors say it this way. Gentleness is power under control. Being gentle is not a wimpy, passive, weak trait. Especially we're guys.

I don't know. There's something about that, you just like I know that's good, but it's kind of weird because it doesn't seem to communicate something like manly. No, no, there's nothing more manly you can be than to be gentle because it's to exercise strength under control. Christopher Wright says it this way: if patience is the ability to endure hostility and criticism without anger, then gentleness is the ability to endure such things without aggression. Gentleness shows itself when I've learned that the Christ-like way to respond to conflicts and quarrels, rejection, unfairness, or harsh words spoken against me is not with bluster and self-defense, not with harsh and aggressive words, not with angry gestures and facial expressions, not with prickles and spikes, but rather with softness, controlling my tongue and my temper.

Oh man, that's that's not an easy thing to live up to. Now we know gentleness is part of the fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5.23. Jesus Christ himself is characterized by gentleness, Matthew 11, 29, when it says, I am a gentle and humble in heart. Gentleness is actually meant to be part of the fabric of how the church relates to each other. It's interesting in 2 Timothy 3 3 that it's signs of the last days. One of the things that's noted there is without gentleness. I mean, look at our world today. Uh there's not a lot of gentleness out there. People are harsh in your face. Now we understand a lost world could be like that, but how about in the church? Now I served in two Korean churches early on in my uh ministry experience.

First one was okay. Second one was horrible. I mean, I just got yelled at and screamed at, like in front of people, and I remember getting slandered by church leaders in front of the other church leaders, and I just be in shock. You know, like my neighbor who is the father of one of my youth kids. I played tennis with him, and in the middle of a meeting, just got up and started saying crazy stuff. I was so I didn't know what to think. But there was one thing for sure. There was no gentleness. It was just straight up harsh, rough attack. I mean, it seems as though there are churches that don't take this concept of gentleness seriously. I mean, even to maybe think that somehow it's only for weak people.

I would say it this way. To be gentle. And here when Paul says, but we proved to be gentle. I mean, that's something about displaying, to be able to show that there's something really existing that's true. You need to actually have a fierce commitment to manifest the character of Christ that shows a strength that is not compromised by anger. The last couple years I was at my church, we would ask for prayer requests. And there was a season where everyone was saying, Please pray for me. I have anger issues. And then I realized we all have anger issues. And you could be that quiet, angry person. That's kind of like me. You know, just keep it inside, but you're just brooding. It's building. And my wife would say, one day you're just gonna blow up.

But thankfully God is able to get that out of me. But then there are the people who are just straight up, they just yell at you. Like, you know, you drive on the streets of LA and someone with road rage, ah, they just start yelling at you. And you're like, what the what in the world? But sometimes that happens at home. I did a lot of premarital counseling, did a lot of weddings. They're always happy the first session. Oh, we're so excited, we're gonna get married, you know, plan the wedding. Okay, before you plan the wedding, let's work on a few things. Remember one couple saying, we've never had a fight. We just started, we're so happy all the time. And my wife and I were looking at each other like okay, just wait.

And they came back a couple weeks are crying, they're literally crying. And we're like, what happened? We got into a fight. We're like, okay, good. Now we're dealing with reality. But oh my goodness, there are times where I saw couples go at each other right in front of me. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here? Emotional distress. Sometimes circumstances are difficult. And we think that justifies showing a lack of gentleness. I mean, if gentleness is part of the fruit of the spirit, and if we're walking in the spirit, or if we're filled with the spirit, we have to really fight for that. To show that gentleness is something that exists in a way that is unmistakably true, that it comes from God.

You can't generate it on your own. I mean, really, when it comes down to it, it really falls under the umbrella. Like, are you going to be like Christ? I mean, what is what is the word Christian mean? Well, a little Christ. I mean, you're you're supposed to reflect Christ. Now it also says here, Paul says, but we prove to be gentle among you. And in the context of the church, I think it's an important proposition. We kind of maybe sometimes overlook the prepositions. Imagine a church that is proving itself amongst a family of believers to practice gentleness. Now that's not the only thing, of course, but just taking this one particular idea. In order to do that, you have to be in close proximity.

You have to be amongst each other. Like this morning when you're thinking about getting ready for church. Okay, I went to church many Sundays, and I have to admit, there are some Sundays I'm like, I don't feel like going, but I have to. I'm the pastor. How come everyone else gets an excuse? Like, uh, I'm not feeling good. I'm gonna stay home. Or I'll just hit Zoom now. You know, sometimes Zoom is helpful, but in other ways it's like it's too easy for people to just kind of stay home now. You need to be in close proximity so you have the opportunity to show gentleness amidst the kind of fellowship and relationship that as you get to know each other, once you get past the initial, like, oh, everybody's nice, you start to see the real deal.

You see someone who comes in maybe with a bad attitude one day. You can tell. They're just like. I mean, as a pastor, when you look out to the audience, sometimes it's kind of funny. People don't realize we see you. You know, we see crazy eyes when people are falling asleep. I mean, I almost start laughing. I so sometimes I've just said, just lie down. It's painful, it's painful to watch you struggle. And I totally understand. I have fallen asleep during sermons too. But when you get to know each other in the midst of being genuine and real, gentleness is being practiced because you are being tested to be gentle. It's not just something you just do that's so easy. It's when it's hard, you are going to have a chance to prove your gentleness.

You spend enough time with people, you will be tested by them. I mean, I don't know. Sometimes people think there's actually a problem for each church. People who are quick to criticize church, you realize you're part of the problem too. Right? And if you go to some other church, you're only going to take your problems with you. There is no problem for your church. But if you are walking in the spirit and you are involved in each other's lives closely, week after week after week, you're going to have this opportunity to minister gentleness to someone who needs it. Because sometimes we're hurting, sometimes we're struggling. You know, instead of having someone be critical or avoid you or isolate you.

Imagine in the midst of your needs, someone coming and gently caring for you. How powerful would that be? Now, I've been hurt enough times by the harsh anger of church members. I like that. I mean, I've just been totally screamed at and yelled at. Even right before I left my church, it was so hard. And my wife is there with me. You know, it's this one particular lady who had a lot of issues, and she's just screaming and saying all sorts of crazy stuff, and my associates there too, and I'm just you know, it's like when it's kind of hard. You're just feeling beaten down. And I'm praying, God help me, God help me, God, help me, God help me, because I am wrestling with just wanting to retaliate.

Just to yell back, you know, and then to have to exercise restraint and speak gently. And I even pointed that out. I said, um, you realize I'm not yelling at you. I'm trying to speak to you calmly. Why wouldn't I yell if you weren't so messed up? I'm like, oh my goodness, it's just it was so hard. I mean, there have been times where people have just completely broken my heart and crushed my spirit. I'm tempted to give up being gentle. But then someone shows gentle care, and I've been so blessed by this over the years too. Someone who's got a quiet member who just gives me a little note and says, Pastor John, I'm praying for you. Hang in there. A word of edification. You don't know how far it could go just when you come together on say a Sunday, and maybe that particular Sunday, someone's really struggling.

And they're wondering if anyone even knows what they're going through. And you kind of notice, and you just say, Hey, are you doing all right? I'm here. Love to listen to you. The church, you know, your church being this small, you can't run. But you that means you have opportunity. I mean, think about it. You actually can know each other's names, all of you. That's the one downside of when the church gets bigger. It's harder to remember everyone's names. A gentle word can penetrate the heart, bring comfort. The ministry of comfort is huge. I mean, there have been so many times I've been discouraged over the years, and uh, I people don't write notes anymore on paper because everything's digital.

But I've collected and kept and saved every note. At one point I actually filed them alphabetically by name. And I was like, oh, this person sent me one note for someone five, someone ten. I mean, this is just them doing this. Some wrote notes that were completely illegible. Like I couldn't read it. You know, but I can't blame them. My writing's illegible too now. But when someone ministers to you, and when you have this opportunity on a regular basis, when Paul is saying, but we proved to be gentle among you when you think about the time when he was actually there with them. He ministered for a short time in Thessalonica because he had to run. But during that time, this is what marked the ministry.

But we prove to be gentle among you. Well, let's go on. Secondly, in verse 7, it says, But we proved to be gentle among you as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. That idea tenderly cares is that picture of the nursing mother holding her baby close. That the warmth of her body would actually warm the baby.

I was talking to my second daughter who's living with us right now because they're getting ready to move to Tennessee. So this morning I was just sharing with her. Oh, this is what I'll be preaching on. And again, she's the one that speaks very, very frankly. And uh we were talking about this nice picture of a mother holding her baby nursing, but that's not the whole of it. When is that mother tenderly caring for her nursing baby? At two in the morning, when the baby's screaming, when she's dead tired, not having gotten sleep for like months, eating cold food, waking up yet again, and I I can't help but imagine, like dads. I mean, I remember feeding the bottle once in a while, and I'd fall asleep, and I'd find the bottle upper nose and things like that.

Like, oh no, you know, I better do a better job here. I'm so lame. But when you think of a mother who is so dedicated to tenderly care in the midst of circumstances that are so difficult. This is the idea that he's saying, This is how a church should look. Not that it's so nice and ideal, it's that tender care is being shown when it's hard. I mean, think about that. You know, my daughter has two boys. Oh my goodness. They are just so full of energy. I can hear them because they're they're upstairs. The Karen and her husband Vashak are downstairs. I could hear them when they wake up. They are throwing things, they are laughing, they're yelling. Sometimes I go knock on the door, and I'm like, This is grandpa, you need to keep quiet.

You know, and then the older one goes down. The younger one is only 14 months, goes, Papa, papa. He's calling me grandpa. This is not a sentimental picture. This is a 24-hour round-the-clock ministry mindset and heart set. You know, when you pull out that baby out of the crib, I mean I remember doing that with my girls. You don't just grab them and yank them out, throw them on the bed. No, when guys, yeah, we maybe are not as gentle. But when you see a mom as that child is screaming, tenderly bring them up and soothe them with words that show such gentle and tender care. The word tender, to tenderly care is to cherish, to nurture, to soften, to comfort. You know, when I was a youth pastor and I'd see these youth kids act out their aggressions, they'd be you know, frustrated, they'd be angry, and I would often look at them and go, they just need to be held.

And that became a running joke amongst the staff when you know there's a kid with an issue, they just need to be held. But in a sense, it's true. They needed to be treated tenderly. Now, when I was at a Korean church, tenderness was not really high on the agenda. You know, it was a little rough. I mean, I grew up with a dad that was very, like it's typically Korean, you know, he'd be upset and he'd just look around what he could use the hippie. You know, you just look around. I was like, that's a baseball bet. I mean, you know, people would be horrified, but that was like normal. Had a tennis racket broken on me, you know. I remember the saddest one is I just gotten this Indian spear from farmer's market.

I was, I was like, what? I ate nine, and he took it and broke it on me. I was more upset that he broke the spear. Now, as a mother, you're still dealing with all the realities of what you're going through. You know, my daughter this morning, she's like, Dad, you should tell them this is this, this and this and this. I was like, okay, that's a little too graphic. I'm like, yeah, I can't share all of that. But I was like, but I could share, oh man, it's hard. It's hard. You just give birth. You're nursing. Your body is adjusting. It's going through craziness. It hurts everywhere. And yet, a mother is committed to showing tender care. I mean, that's why I look at my wife and I just go, thank you, honey.

I don't know how you did that. We should appreciate our mothers in that way. But that's the backdrop of what it's like to have that kind of a heart. Why can we say that? Well, Ephesians 4 32. Instead, be kind to one another, tender hearted. Graciously forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. 1 Peter 3 8. Now to sum up all of you, be like-minded, sympathetic, brotherly, tender hearted, and humble in spirit. I mean, just take this idea of gentleness and tenderness toward one another in the church. I mean, this is where you can really see the reality of the gospel being fleshed out. Why? You're no longer governed by your emotions, whether it's anger, you're no longer controlled by your circumstances.

Instead, you respond to these challenges by saying, I have, first of all, the Holy Spirit that empowers me to be able to show gentleness and tenderness. Even when I'm treated unfairly.

She's like, well, how are you gonna respond? Like, ah, you know, why can't you just say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah? They're bad. Because that's what I want to hear. But no, she being the suitable helper, the godly wife. How are you gonna honor Christ? Okay. Well, yes, I should. Yeah, it's so hard. I'm still still doing this right now, and she's still helping me in the midst of she's still a full-time teacher. She's taking a master's biblical studies program, and she's going down to help her mom. I'm thinking, like, I don't know how you do all that. I'm barely surviving. I'm supposed to be on sabbatical and I'm having a hard time. That's why you can't make excuses to not be gentle and tender. And going on, fond affection.

Going back to 16 2, 8, in this way, having fond affection for you. Uh this is actually an interesting word. It's you, this is the only time it's used in the Greek in the whole New Testament. Uh John MacArthur says this. This means to long for someone passionately and earnestly, and being linked to a mother's love is intended here to express an affection so deep and compelling as to be unsurpassed. Ancient inscriptions on the tombs of dead babies sometimes contain this term when parents wanted to describe their sad longing for a too soon departed child. To have fond affection. That's not just a touchy-feely thing. There's something about this yearning to express in a very passionate way how much you care.

Now, you know, anytime you see something in the present tense, I remember teaching this to the youth kids. I said, present tense just means you gotta do it when now. And now and now, and now, now, now, now, now, now, now. It means you're always doing it in the now. It doesn't matter if you did it in the present. Don't make some grand promises that you'll do in the future. Are you doing it now? Are you showing fond affection? Now, sometimes that's not easy when you're dealing with people that you're not inclined to show affection. Now, over the years, uh, I've had interesting people at church, like super needy people at church. Uh, there's always this socially awkward guy. Every church I've been to, where they're very needy, and no one wants to talk to them because they seem like they don't fit.

And I and I just realized, well, way back in high school days, I remember seeing guys like that, and being treated so badly. You know, kids can be so cruel. But how about in the church? Are we partial or biased in who we will show fond affection? You know, I was uh thinking in seminary for pastoral ministry. I don't think I've heard a class that talks about gentleness, tender tender care, and fond affection. I mean, you hear a lot of things about what to do in terms of skills and whatever. How about just start there in terms of this is the way you're supposed to pastor? Paul shares something very similar to the Philippian church. If you look at Philippians 1, starting from verse 7, he says, For it is only right for me to think this way about you all because I have you in my heart, since both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are fellow partakers with me in disgrace.

For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. He's in prison writing this. I mean, if anything, if we were in prison, we'd just probably be feeling sorry for ourselves. Here he's saying, God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And then in verse 9, he says, In this I pray that your love may abound still more and more in full knowledge and all discernment. I love how Paul focuses on this idea of affection and love, but it wasn't just to stop there, it was to challenge them to then love and grow in their understanding of love. You know, Ephesians chapter 3, that prayer at the end of the chapter where Paul is saying that he wants them to have this understanding of the height and depth and breadth of the love of Christ.

I think this picture of a nursing mother again really is so appropriate. You see this fond affection. Now, of course, at a human level, no one's perfect in doing this, but I watched my daughter with her two little boys, and sometimes they're just they're just little punks, you know. They're just like not very cooperative. You know, the other day they slapped each other, and you're, you know, you're just like as a parent, you just look at that, and you're like, how could you? I remember when two of my younger daughters, I walked by their room when they were pretty young, and uh the older one slapped the younger one, just full on, slapped. And I froze. Before I could do anything, the little one slapped her right back.

And I went into the drawer. I was like, how could you? How could you? Your sisters, and there's like, because they got caught in the act. Now they're all grown up and they do love each other and they're they're they're a lot kinder. But how about at the church? Like to say that there's this fond affection, and again, it's not just a touchy-feely thing, it's a passionate thing. It's something that says, you know, I earnestly want to show you this. And that it would persist, and that it would deepen, and that it would persevere. You know, there's a reason why in 1 Corinthians 13 and verse 7, where it says love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Because there has to be this kind of love that just doesn't stop because something tested it.

That's so hard. I mean, in marriage, you know, when you say, till death do us part, you know, a lot of times, guys, after they get married, they'll come and say, Pastor John, I didn't know it was gonna be so hard. She changed. Like, what do you mean? I don't know. It's like everything's changed. So remember your vows. What did it say? For better or for worse. Well, sometimes it's the worst. But you said you would love till death parts you. But it's so hard. Yeah, absolutely. But that's why you can't do this in your own power. I mean, this is why really it keeps driving you to the gospel, and this is why the next part is so important. In verse 8, when Paul says, in this way, having fond affection for you, we were pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives.

And I really love this idea. Where it continues in this theme of this nursing mother. He is desirous. He's so wanting to impart, share something with them. The gospel of God.

I mean, that's what drives everything. When you are saved by Christ, that sets the tone of how you define everything. Like, how do you understand gentleness? The gentleness of Christ. How do you stand on tender care? The tender care of Christ. I mean, imagine Jesus with his disciples. Think about it. Those guys sometimes were just complete fools and idiots. I mean, they would see something miraculous happen. They would hear something. Jesus, can you imagine hearing Jesus preach? I imagine some of them probably fell asleep on him. Now, I can't say anything because I've fallen asleep on some of the best preachers, too. But can you imagine these guys? And yet Jesus is so patient with them. He's gentle with them.

When you think about what the gospel means to you, it should mean everything. Because now you understand the love of Christ for a sinner. That's what sets the lens for how you then view others. Now, when Paul says it's not only the imparting of the gospel, but our own lives.

In sharing the gospel, he gave his very life. There was this devotion, this investment, the sacrifice. You know, you can't be like a babysitter. What does a babysitter do? It comes for a few hours. Even then, sometimes there aren't so good babysitters. A mother is different. A mother doesn't just show periodic care. A mother gives her very life. You know, Paul says that he was pleased to impart this. You know, this idea is to say, you know, I find great pleasure, I find mental satisfaction, I delight in doing this, imparting the gospel, but also my very life. I mean, in particular for church leaders, I mean, I'll tell you one of the things that I was just very encouraged by Pastor Peter, uh, hearing him preach last Sunday.

I'm getting to see a preacher who's not only preaching, but loving the church. There's a difference. There are plenty of preachers who just get up there and after the service, they walk away and they're done. They don't interact with the people, they just kind of think they're above them, and they don't, they just think they're better. Like those are the pastors they just want to go and punch. I know I shouldn't, you know, because that'd be bad on me. Come on. You're supposed to love your people, like engage with them, care for them, give your life to them. I mean, that's why this really is a reflection of the ministry of the gospel. When you are so driven by the gospel, this is the only proper way you can do it.

Now, granted, there are some people, and I was guilty of this, where you're so into ministry, you neglect other things, like home. That's bad. So I'm not saying, oh, you just live at the church 44 hours. No. I remember one time we did a membership class, and the first time people were saying, So you want us to live at the church? When did I say that? Nobody is saying live at the church. I don't even live at the church. Why would you say that? Well, I think it's because people don't have a full understanding of this. It's to be able to say, because I've received the love of Christ. Christ gave his own life for me. Is there a sacrificial heart that's willing to lay down your life for your brothers and sisters?

Is there a sense where you're willing to invest your life? You know, the idea of discipling is not just sit there, walk through 10 weeks of a book and say, okay, you're discipled. No, it's this life on life. It's kind of like how a mother would give her life 24-7. Why? Because she loves her child. So she's gonna feed and clothe and bathe and change. And the nights when they throw up in their bed, you know. I remember when our girls threw up in their bed. Like, why couldn't you at least gotten up and go to the bathroom? No, they decide to roll over and throw up in the bed. So you gotta wash everything. And then, you know, as a parent, because we're lame like this, we're like, why did we have kids?

Okay, be careful about that. Okay, you know, because you're like you're treading dangerous ground there. Some people even act like that at church. Why are we at church? Why do we got to deal with these crazy people? How about you? You're kind of crazy too. Do you realize this is why it takes all of us doing this together? I mean, imagine the kind of love that permeates the life of the church. Where you're constantly imparting the gospel to one another. And so when an unbeliever comes, what do they see? People who are just driven by the gospel. That's why you love. That's why you're gentle. That's why you're tender. That's why you have this fond affection. You know, it rings hollow to preach that to others and not show it.

John 15 verses 12 and 13, Jesus says, This is my commandment that you love one another just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, then one laid down his life for his friends. You know, can only imagine the Apostle Paul. I mean, we're not the Apostle Paul for sure, but what was he doing? You know, you read through the book of Acts, he's just giving us life everywhere, to the point where he's willing to die. I mean, they try to kill him. Do you go with this mind and heart to minister to one another in your church? So that people see this fond affection that's being shown through the imparting of the gospel in your very life. Lastly, and this kind of sums up, genuine love, the very end of chapter 2, verse 8.

In this way, having fond affection for you, we are pleased in part to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become beloved to us. I mean, the base of that word is agape. We know that that's God's kind of love. And the only way you can show God's kind of love is if you know God and know his love. That's why 1 John 4.19 says, What? We love because he first loved us. And when you're overwhelmed by that love, that's how you're gonna look at each other. You're gonna say, You have become beloved to me. I don't just do that for those that are easy to love, that are convenient to love. You know, sometimes some people have such a clickish mentality. Us four no more shut the door, that kind of thing.

Come on, church God be better than that. When you see a fellow saint, what should you see? Beloved of God. They are the beloved of God. Therefore, I can treat them as beloved as well. You know, when you are so overwhelmed by the love of Christ, 2 Corinthians 5.14 says, For the love of Christ controls us. Having concluded this that one died for all, therefore all died, and he died for all, so that they who live would no longer live for themselves, but for him who died and rose again on their behalf. I mean, that that that verse has really become one of my life verses because I'm reminded why the love of Christ should control me. Because He died and rose again to save me. There is no greater love that you will ever know.

He saved you from hell and condemnation and judgment. What greater love is there than that? So then when you're controlled by that love, you come to church and you see your fellow saints. If that love is controlling you, what you're going to do is you're going to look at everyone and say, because they're the beloved of God, I want to see them as my beloved too. I mean, Paul says, you have become beloved to me. When he looks at the Thessalonian church, he can't help but just say, you know what? I truly love you in the purest, most Christ-honoring way. I love you. You know, my uh one of my mentors, uh, Chris Mueller, he was my junior high pastor and my college pastor. And I would meet him. I mean, this is going back to 1978, so I've known him for a long time.

And sometimes I meet him at a restaurant. And when he'd walk in the door, he'd go, Juncan! I'm like, why do you have to do that? Junck him, I love you. You know, the Asian part of me is just like, oh, you know, why do you say that so loud? But one thing I know, he really loves me. And so at the end, I'll be like, I love you too, Chris. I can't yell like that. That's just weird. But one thing I know, oh wow. He has exuded that over the years and been so consistent. The minister to my heart. So I'm so grateful for that. And then I realize, you know what? Because I have been loved like that even from others, I need to be the conduit and share that love and overwhelm other people. I mean, especially with the brothers, you know.

Have you ever said to your one of your brothers, I love you? It's just kind of a weird thing. I am it was a little hard for me too, but there are these guys who kept saying that to me. Like, I love you, Pastor John. Like, I love you too.

I'm thinking, wow, I am still being challenged, even by others. Wow, they're showing such affection and care. So I hope I can encourage you, be in church. Be a church that shows a proven gentleness, a tender care, a fond affection, a pleasing impartation, and a genuine love. You know, in that way, your church, you know, you're small now, that's okay. Enjoy this time. But then shine the light of the glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ through exuding his character through these five qualities. God will be glorified. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for showing us such grace and mercy through Christ, who not only died and rose again for us, but who continues to show the love that is so incredibly transcended that we can't fully comprehend it, but to know that we still experience that love day by day.

God thank you for the love that we have experienced even from other believers who invested their lives, who gave their very life and imparting the gospel and their hearts. May we be such men and women that would show and prove on an ongoing basis the gentleness of Christ, their tender care of Christ, the fond affection of Christ, to show that love with which we have already been loved. God, may you bless Beacon Church. May their church truly rest in the gospel of Jesus Christ. If there's anyone who doesn't know Christ, may you open the eyes of their hearts to see the incredible love of Christ shown to sinners. May you draw them to repentance, that they would come to you and acknowledge their need for a savior.

And only you can save them. God may you bless this church to grow in unity. Lord, bind them together with one heart and one mind so that they would be a testimony to this community and to this world. May you continue to help Pastor Peter recover and continue to use him to be a shepherd that would really love the sheep of this congregation and be that example of what it means to be gentle and tender and affectionate and loving and the giving of the gospel in his very life. God, what a joy it is to see this church family moving forward. I look forward to seeing how you will use them in every way for your kingdom in Jesus' name. Amen.